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| From an online conversation with a friend:
do you ever wonder if other people are really more happy than you?
or that they just have the same level of happiness as you
and are just satisfied with it or pretend that they are?
Been trying to figure out what it means to be truly happy. Best I've figured out is that I think I've been really truly happy I few times in my life. They've correlated to when I got (or thought I was going to get) what really wanted, you know at the core. Like there are things that make me sort of happy: attention, acknowledgment, sense of accomplishment. But I think only because they give me a taste of what it is I really want. For me I think what I really want is to be deeply known and deeply loved. But I think after talking to other people, not everyone wants the same things.
Other random questions about happiness:
What does it feel like to be just happy?
Does everyone deserve to be happy? (seems like the answer ought to be yes- but why?)
Is that the point of life? To figure out how to be happy and then pursue it?
Is it noble to pursue happiness? If not, what's the alternative?
Can one person make you happy? Or is that too much to ask/demand of someone?
Clarissa Vaughn: I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know, that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself: So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.
-The Hours
Joel: I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
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| Just started doing research and going to med school at the Cleveland Clinic on Monday, pretty cool.
xkcd comic i just had to share:
more later when i have more time.
btw thanks (so many people) for wishing me a happy birthday | | |
| Just got back from KRUP yesterday, and it has definitely made me think about poverty, world issues, oppression and justice issues a lot more. Maybe it was just talking about them in the evening sessions, or seeing that quietly disturbing spike lee documentary on Katrina (When the Levees Broke) - but somehow I do care more now, which is what I had hoped for on the trip. The question is just to see how long it lasts...
Some stray thoughts:
- One of The New York Times' top stories today is this: Poor Nations to Bear the Brunt as World Warms We had been talking about how naturally human nature heads towards oppressing the poor through unjust systems, corrupt governments, or just ignorance. But I mean come on now, even the weather? I guess it really is everywhere.
- One question to ask is do you really need God to establish change (both in yourself and in the world)? How do you answer this question? You can't just tell people that "you're not strong enough" or "you need outside help" - why should they believe you? Even if they are true, those are things someone has to discover on their own.
I have been thinking about what if I were to move to another country to serve the world's poor, like the people in the book The New Friars, I think the highest cost would be loss of community, and to be able to live and fight virtually alone I know I would need God.
But who knows, saw this "BRICK Awards" thing today: vote for your favorite world changer. A list of young people who are changing the world. The youngest is 11 years old who is advocating for the homeless in Canada, a passion that began when she was 5 years old when she first saw a homeless man eat out of the garbage. And as far as I can tell none of these people or organizations they have started have any connection to Christianity. So obviously, people can do plenty without God.
The most I can say is perhaps it is not that we are too weak, but the world is too broken. Without God we can undeniably institute a lot of change in the world, but maybe the world needs more help than human strength alone can provide. | | |
| Circle K was supposed to go to Harvard Soup Kitchen today, but all the rest of the people who signed up couldn't make it. So I went on my own, though I was tempted to skip out.
There's this guy there who likes to talk a lot named "L" or El? who knows. Last time I went I was brooding a lot about ideas like death, depression and pain. He kept on saying to everyone, you should enjoy life! Be happy! And asking me whether or not I'm happy and I enjoy life. He made some references to God, but since the soup kitchen is run by a UU church, I wasn't sure what sort of doctrine he might believe, and whether to take in what he said or not. But when I left, I realized, no matter who he was, what he believed, God had used him to speak to me- to say, be active in pursuing joy and happiness.
Today he was sitting across from a guy named Mario, who didn't really say much. El and I talked about stuff like why killing animals is okay, but having sex before marriage isn't, and Mario just listened. Mario is part Cherokee, and El decided to ask him a question he asked me last time: "What's your view on life? Why do you think we're here?" I thought the question kind of put this guy Mario, who doesn't talk much in the first place, on the spot. But Mario said: "Well my view is different from most people. I try to think see people the way the Great Spirit (from his Cherokee heritage) sees them, not the way other people/the world sees them."
And I asked him to elaborate on what the difference was. And he said the difference is that we are not images, we are reflections. I had no idea what he meant by that, and El started going on this rant on how deep it was! I don't think he got what Mario was trying to say. But El was saying that the difference between an image and a reflection was basically that if you raise your right hand, your image will also raise its right hand, but your reflection will raise its left hand. And then I asked Mario- is that what you mean? To my surprise, he said yes.
And then he said "When God looks at us, he sees Himself."
That really hit me. That really is a different way to look at people. I mean, isn't that how we learn to love and respect other people. When we see parts of ourselves in them, and know that we are not so different after all. And more importantly, that we see reflections of something divine, something eternal, echoes of something perfect and good in there; somehow a reflection of God.
I still don't know how much I'm ready to let go and take in everything these people have to say. Part of me is just prejudiced- what do these poor/homeless/uneducated people have to say to me? You know, there are people who you listen to, but you never let it soak in enough to affect you because you're a little weary. And then there are people who you really respect, and when they say stuff, you listen - and you let it permeate into you and change you. | | |
| i realized that i don't know how to be confident while being imperfect. Not really sure what to do about that. | | |
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